Hi, folks! Jeff Havens here, ready again to help you showcase your gross incompetence in the workplace. Everybody tells you what you should do, right? Well, that’s boring. It’s way more fun to focus on what you shouldn’t do. And you know what you shouldn’t do? Proofread your professional communications. Because nothing maks a person look dummer than when they misspell wirds. Its a tiny thing, but it makes a huge diffrence. Its like saying, “Hey, evrybody, I repeeted thrid grade!”
Now, I’m sure some of you are scoffing at this piece of advice. If I’m really lucky, you think that spellcheck will take care of everything for you, so that the odds of you making an easy mistake are effectively nullified.
Not so, my gullible friend. Because while it’s true that spellcheck will correct all of your spelling mistakes, it does not guarantee that you’ve used the right word in the right way. So if you forego proofreading, you can end up sending out a perfectly-spelled report or email that still manages to make you look like a complete moron.
No Misspellings Here!
(Or grammar check issues. Not a single red, blue, or green squiggly line underneath any of this while I wrote it. Take that, Microsoft Word!)
Hello, everyone. I’d like to take a movement to interdict myself. As many of you know, I’ve been asked to displace your former CEO while he takes some time to address family igloos. Hopefully he will return some, but I am peppered to remain with yew as long as necessary to ensure that our company continues to grow and thrift in today’s volatile business marker.
I have a great lobe for this company, both its purple and the products we offer to our cucumbers. And I promise, hear and now, to do everything in my power to make this the most sensual year we’ve ever had.
Do you need any further convincing? Please don’t bother proofreading. Because proofreading your documents will rob your colleagues of some very amusing moments. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see the new roll-out of cucumber-friendly products that we’ll be offering.