Conferences are theoretically designed to be one of the most effective educational and networking opportunities you’ll get all year. But that’s just what the conference organizers think a conference is for. For the average conference attendee, things are a little bit different:
1. You show up the day before…
2. …check into your hotel room.
3. …then check into the conference. That’s where you’ll get your lanyard and your messenger bag!
4. You then head immediately to the nearest bar…
5. …because for the next few days, you are single. You and your coworkers will get down with your bad selves. There might be some karaoke involved.
6. You will end that night somewhere near but not quite in your hotel bed.
7. The next day you’ll wake up for hotel breakfast. If you’re lucky there will be bacon and a waffle bar.
8. You’ll attend the morning keynote, who might be a famous person that you get to meet… well, sort of.
9. You’ll power through the morning breakouts. But lunch will put you in a food coma. So you’ll doze through the afternoon keynote speaker…
10. …and skip the afternoon breakouts to catch up on more work.
11. You’ll end that night in another bar.
12. The next day you’ll wake up somewhere…
13. …and wander through the exhibitor hall to see if you can win anything or score some cool swag.
14. That about covers it. Enjoy your next conference. And try not to flirt with your coworkers! They all know you and have HR on speed dial.