How to Negotiate Like a Child

In case you didn’t already know, children are the pinnacle of negotiation.  World leaders, hostage negotiators, and VC folks have absolutely nothing on your average 3-year-old.  What makes kids such crack negotiators?  A few simple techniques.

Ask For Everything

Kids don’t just ask for what they want.  They also ask for everything else they can possibly think of.  That way they’re almost guaranteed to get at least something they’re looking for.  I’m not sure exactly when we age out of constantly shooting for the moon, but it’s a quality all of us should consider emulating when beginning any negotiation.

Never Accept the First No

Or the second, or the third, or the fourth.  In fact, never accept no at all.  Just keep asking for what you want until you slowly but inexorably wear down the other side, the way water can turn a mountain into a sandhill.

Never Take Rejection Personally

Kids don’t.  They hear no all the time (see above), and it never impacts their sense of self.  They don’t think they’re crazy or demanding or difficult or unreasonable.  They simply think they need to take a different approach, or ask for something else entirely (see point #1).  This, I believe, is what separates exceptional negotiators from unsuccessful ones.  Rejection isn’t a commentary on who you are as a person.  It is simply an obstacle that needs to be dealt with, one way or another.

Once You Get What You Asked For, Ask For Something Else

Let’s say your kids want to go to bed at 9pm, and you want them to go to bed at 8pm.  So you compromise at 8:30pm.  What’s the first thing most kids are going to ask once you agree to those terms?  “Could we do 8:45?”  Do children acknowledge that you’ve just met them in the middle?  Of course not!  Your agreement is now the starting point for a new round of negotiations, which has the potential to end with you getting even more of what you wanted than you did the first time around.

Those of you with children are undoubtedly experienced with all of these techniques, and you know they work.  It helps that we usually love our children and want to give them things, but applying these same strategies to your next business negotiation will almost certainly yield better results than you’d get otherwise.

Either that, or consider hiring a 4-year-old to handle your next tough negotiation.  They’ll probably do you proud.