Hello, and Happy New Year! By now you should have already seen my super awesome New Year’s video (if not, click http://www.jeffhavens.com/?p=464), and so you should already have a few good ideas about how to gear up for the year to make 2012 one of your most successful ever.
However, you should also be aware of the fact that the Mayan calendar has predicted that the apocalypse is set to arrive sometime around December of this year. I’m pretty sure they knew what they were talking about, because John Cusack was in a movie about it. So I don’t see a whole lot of reason for you to plan anything long-term.
Fortunately for you, I have a few ideas that should help you cope with the impending end of the world.
Don’t follow up! – If somebody doesn’t return your phone call right away, it’s probably because they don’t like you. And why should you bother pestering them? The world is going to end soon; the last thing you should be doing is trying to close a difficult sale.
Tell Everyone What You Really Think of Them! – I’m not exactly sure why this implies that you’ve secreted disliked the people around you forever and are only now giving yourself permission to say so, but that’s apparently what this phrase means. So get to work. They’ve been a thorn in your side for long enough.
Wake Up Late! – In a world full of impending doom, there is absolutely no cause to be setting an alarm clock.
Make Risky Investments! – Ideal options here include wagering all of your assets on double-zero at the roulette wheel, or betting everything you own that Donald Trump will never again pretend to run for president.
These are just the ideas that came to me; I’m sure if I spent some more time thinking about it that I could come up with things more immediately relevant to your business. But why should I bother? The world is about to end, and I’ve got better things to do than think. I’ve got panic room rations to start collecting.
Happy New Year!