Thankfully the last month hasn’t been all catastrophe. Here are some things that should bring a smile to your face. The world is still weird – rejoice!
Lucky Man Can Fish All He Wants
A Michigan man recently won a $4,000,000 jackpot – 3 years after winning a different $4,000,000 jackpot. He used a lucky coin his father gave him, which probably didn’t change the numbers on his ticket but maybe it did? He used the winnings from his first victory to retire from his job and go fishing, and he plans on using the winnings from this second jackpot to….do some more fishing. Did he need $8,000,000 to sustain his fishing habit? Probably not. But I’m sure it won’t hurt. And remember – just because a great thing happens to you doesn’t mean it can’t happen again!
Next Time, Put “This Smells Terrible on Purpose” On It
A post office in Germany was recently evacuated when workers discovered a package that smelled terrible – so terrible they thought it might be some kind of biological weapon. Turns out the package was full of durian, a Thai fruit that apparently tastes great despite smelling like – and I’m quoting here – “rotten food, dirty socks, and vomit.” Everything turned out OK, though; nobody was hurt, and the package of vomit fruit eventually made it to its intended recipient. But next time you’re going to do something unusual, maybe consider telling people, “This might be a little weird, but go with me.” Could save everyone a panicked evacuation.
I Didn’t Know Children Were Allowed To Do This…
An 8-year old boy has recently become the youngest Life Master at bridge, a designation that usually takes decades to earn. He’s not even one decade yet – but thanks to his parents’ Internet connection, he was able to rack up a ton of points playing in online tournaments. I’m pretty sure when I was eight I was exactly as good at bridge as I will be when I’m eighty. So remember, you’re never too young to get good enough at something to embarrass all the older people around you. I’ll bet this can go both way, though, which is why I’m going to dedicate myself from this moment forward to the pursuit of TikTok dominance. Or Fortnite, or maybe Pokemon – I don’t know, whatever the kids are into these days. Time to show the youngsters what we old people are made of!