So apparently a Fox affiliate in Dallas-Fort Worth ran a story where they accidentally named Zooey Deschanel as a possible suspect in the Boston marathon bombings. It was an obvious error, and easily corrected, but it still had to be a weird half-hour or so for Zooey before everything got cleared up.
That’s how most mistakes are – small, easily fixed, and usually little more than embarrassing. And I know you want a lot more embarrassment in your life. I know for myself that I start to get twitchy if I haven’t made a complete fool of myself every 6 or 8 hours. So to help you make the same kinds of ridiculous mistakes the Dallas-Fort Worth Fox affiliates did, here are a few fun, embarrassment-happy tricks!
Work at an Impossible-to-Maintain Pace!
The psychotically frenetic pace of today’s news media has caused them to produce more content than it is possible to produce at a consistently high quality. And you can do the same thing! If you operate a factory, I’m sure you can pump 40% more units through each line; and if you’re working on a major deadline right now, there’s no reason not to add two or three equally pressing deadlines all at the same time. Doing so will ensure that you don’t have the time to do all of your jobs well – and it will induce you to flopsweat, which is an awesome word we simply don’t use often enough.
Don’t Have Anyone Edit Anything!
You’re too busy, remember? Besides, people will no what yew meant. It’s fine if you accidentally use the wrong worm from time to thyme in your emails and other public Asians, and it won’t at all make people think that you’re hopped up on painkillers. Enjoy!
Keep Separate Projects in the Same Working Folder!
This is obviously where the Fox affiliate folks went wrong. Someone was running a story about Zooey, someone else was running a story about the Boston bombings, and they blobbed those together in an embarrassingly incorrect way. You can do it, too. In fact, if you’re an auto manufacturer, I more or less insist that you do the same. Because I have wanted an off-roading Prius with fine leather detailing and a 290,000 pound towing capacity for years, and it’s not going to happen if you keep putting all those different features into different automobiles.
That’s just about it for today. Hope this helps you screw up something fun!