If you’re like me, then you know there’s nothing more satisfying than an excruciating argument filled with wild shouting, tense silences, mutual recrimination, and a total lack of resolution. This book will provide you some of the time-tested techniques to help make sure each of your conflicts is as difficult and unenjoyable as possible. It will also give you some ideas about how to resolve them quickly and happily, in case you’re silly enough to want to do it that way. I suppose the choice is yours. But I really hope you choose the long and painful route. If you don’t, I’m just not sure we’ll be able to be friends.