Things Political Candidates Do That You Should Do Too!

Hello, and congratulations to approximately 51% of you – your guy won the election!  I don’t know about you, but elections always inspire me.  For months and months we get to listen to people tell us groundbreaking things like “poverty is bad” and “children are good” and “I like living in America”.  We wait breathlessly…

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Open Communication Is Overrated: How To Close The Door For Good!

So I went to a wedding in Houston this weekend, which for those of you who have never been is approximately 4 billion miles wide.  Seriously, if you live on the west side of Houston and you want to have dinner with your friends on the east side, you’d better start driving right after lunch.…

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The Color Run: Making Boring Stuff Better With Rainbows!

So this weekend I participated in a color run to help raise money for the Ronald McDonald House, which as you know is the fund established to help Ronald McDonald finally get off the streets. (I’m just kidding about that; if you want to know more, go to www.rmhc.org.) Now I think we can all…

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Barriers To Learning: Never Learn Anything Ever Again, Guaranteed!

So I’m trying to learn Spanish.  I figure that Spanish-speakers are eventually going to take over the country, so I may as well be able to talk to them when they do.  I originally thought it would be super simple, since you can usually just add ‘o’ to the end of every English word and…

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Workplace Safety: How to Use A Ladder for Maximum Catastrophe!

Hello, everyone!  I’m typing this entire blog post with only one finger today, because my other nine have been heavily bandaged during a freak towel-folding accident I suffered last night.  And it occurred to me that I have never yet discussed workplace safety.So here we go! As you know, workplaces are annoyingly safe.  Very rarely…

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Customers Are Not Illegal (Yet!) So Annoy Them Until They Go Away!

Let’s face it – customers are annoying. They’re constantly asking for things, and they touch everything – ­and there’s no telling if they washed their hands the last time they went to the bathroom. Customers are gross. They should be illegal. But unfortunately they’re not illegal. There’s an election coming up, and I’m hoping to…

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Ye Olde Keynote Speaker

It is impossible to tell you how excited I am to be writing about today’s post.  You see, every year I do one presentation that falls so far outside the norm that I don’t even truly know how to explain how I ended up doing that particular job.  One year I performed in a loading…

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A Lesson From The Sweetest Town in the USA: Stick With Your Core Message

Greetings from Pennsylvania! Today I am in the land of Hershey, a town which really does smell like chocolate. They gave me a Hershey bar when I checked in, and the lampposts in the town are capped with replica Hershey kisses. The cobblestone streets are made out of Reese’s Pieces, the grocery stores only sell…

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Exciting things coming soon!

Hello my loyal readers! Apologies for being absent for so long.  If I were your long-distance boyfriend, you would have probably broken up with me by now.  I’m sorry for being such a bad person. However, like all people who stop calling for too long, I have a good excuse.  We have been working on…

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How to Dress Like a Complete and Utter Failure!

Hello peoples!  I am writing to you today from my living room.  I’m wearing frayed slippers, plaid flannel pajama pants, the same T-shirt I was wearing yesterday (and which spent the night crumpled up on the floor beside my bed), and a plaid flannel shirt over top of that.  Do my two plaids match?  Not…

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Delightful Ways to Destroy the Morale of Your Salespeople

You know, I like to think of myself as a creative person.  I don’t want to brag or anything, but I made quite the impressive collection of pinch pots when I was in elementary school; one of them was so incredible, in fact, that I should really refer to it as a pinch jug.  So…

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Adorable Ways to Fail at an Office Romance!

Hello, devoted readers!  I’m writing today from Wichita, Kansas, which I learned yesterday is the airplane manufacturing capital of the world.  You wouldn’t know it to look at the airport, since it would fit rather cozily into most suburban backyards, but Cessna, Lear, Airbus, and Boeing all have manufacturing facilities in the city.  I learned…

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Making the Least Out of Your Meetings!

Hello everyone!  I’ve just come back from a meeting that literally made me want to rip my own ears off.  If there had been a window in the subterranean dungeon we were sitting in, I would have flung myself through it and fallen peacefully into a row of thorny bushes (side note: why does anybody…

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Playful Ways to Annoy Your Customers!

Hello, aspiring shopkeepers (that’s a more entertaining word than ‘business owners,’ so I’m going with it).  As the occasional shop patron, I have noticed a handful of amusing tricks that some vendors are using to frustrate their customers.  In some cases, these tactics are so successful that you can actually prevent people from buying things…

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Jargon Time!

Hello everyone!  I’m in a pretty good mood today.  I’m in Durango, Colorado, about to present at the college here, but I got in early enough to go skiing for half a day.  It’s gorgeous, and my life seems to be heading in a happy direction.  Which of course bodes ill for this post, since…

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Thoughts on Diversity

Hello again, and welcome to another Martin Luther King Day.  Today we honor one of America’s most impressive orators, a man who helped usher in the most sweeping social change in the United States since the Civil War.  The civil rights’ movement of the 1960s would probably not have accomplished as many things or commanded…

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How to Keep New Potential Members out of Your Association!

Hello everyone!  I’m getting ready to head yet again to another conference, filled with association members who will most likely try and persuade me to join their group.  Maybe I will.  Perhaps I’ll stage an impressive coup and install myself as Association Dictator For Life, then wage a vicious purge against all of the members…

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My Last New Year’s Post Ever!!!

Hello, and Happy New Year!  By now you should have already seen my super awesome New Year’s video (if not, click http://www.jeffhavens.com/?p=464), and so you should already have a few good ideas about how to gear up for the year to make 2012 one of your most successful ever. However, you should also be aware…

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Happy New Year!

I hope you all had a happy and and prosperous 2011. Here I offer up some business resolutions for this year!

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