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So I went to a wedding in Houston this weekend, which for those of you who have never been is approximately 4 billion miles wide. Seriously, if you live on the west side of Houston and you want to have dinner with your friends on the east side, you’d better start driving right after lunch.…
DetailsI worked in the restaurant industry for seven years, so I think I can speak with some authority when I say what all of you already know: customers are really, really annoying. For starters, they are constantly bothering you with endless, aggravating questions like “Can I have more Sprite?” or “What would you recommend?” Then…
DetailsSo this weekend I participated in a color run to help raise money for the Ronald McDonald House, which as you know is the fund established to help Ronald McDonald finally get off the streets. (I’m just kidding about that; if you want to know more, go to www.rmhc.org.) Now I think we can all…
DetailsSo I’m trying to learn Spanish. I figure that Spanish-speakers are eventually going to take over the country, so I may as well be able to talk to them when they do. I originally thought it would be super simple, since you can usually just add ‘o’ to the end of every English word and…
DetailsHello, everyone! I’m typing this entire blog post with only one finger today, because my other nine have been heavily bandaged during a freak towel-folding accident I suffered last night. And it occurred to me that I have never yet discussed workplace safety.So here we go! As you know, workplaces are annoyingly safe. Very rarely…
DetailsLet’s face it – customers are annoying. They’re constantly asking for things, and they touch everything – and there’s no telling if they washed their hands the last time they went to the bathroom. Customers are gross. They should be illegal. But unfortunately they’re not illegal. There’s an election coming up, and I’m hoping to…
DetailsIt is impossible to tell you how excited I am to be writing about today’s post. You see, every year I do one presentation that falls so far outside the norm that I don’t even truly know how to explain how I ended up doing that particular job. One year I performed in a loading…
DetailsGreetings from Pennsylvania! Today I am in the land of Hershey, a town which really does smell like chocolate. They gave me a Hershey bar when I checked in, and the lampposts in the town are capped with replica Hershey kisses. The cobblestone streets are made out of Reese’s Pieces, the grocery stores only sell…
DetailsHello my loyal readers! Apologies for being absent for so long. If I were your long-distance boyfriend, you would have probably broken up with me by now. I’m sorry for being such a bad person. However, like all people who stop calling for too long, I have a good excuse. We have been working on…
DetailsHello peoples! I am writing to you today from my living room. I’m wearing frayed slippers, plaid flannel pajama pants, the same T-shirt I was wearing yesterday (and which spent the night crumpled up on the floor beside my bed), and a plaid flannel shirt over top of that. Do my two plaids match? Not…
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