Hello, and welcome back.  I’m especially excited to be talking to you today.  I’m excited about everything, really – breathing, the feel of the cool winter air on my face, the quiet honking of geese flying overhead, even the occasional poop on my car from all those flying geese.  Why am I so grateful for all of those things?  Because I went to the mall this weekend.  Seriously, I’m lucky to be alive.Now I’m sure you know that 97% of the people shopping this holiday season – just like 97% of the people you work with – are perfectly normal, decent, well-meaning citizens.  But let’s talk about the other 3%.  They’re the real mavericks, the go-getters, the kind of insufferable egoists we should all try to model ourselves after.  And in honor of their contribution to the eventual decline of our civilization, here are a few things I witnessed this weekend that you could easily put into practice at work this week:

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