Hello again, and welcome to another Martin Luther King Day.  Today we honor one of America’s most impressive orators, a man who helped usher in the most sweeping social change in the United States since the Civil War.  The civil rights’ movement of the 1960s would probably not have accomplished as many things or commanded the same amount of attention without his contribution.  So I thought I’d offer a few thoughts on diversity, since diversity is the watchword of the day.

In general, diversity is considered to be vital for the success of any institution.  The human body could not function without the intricate interworkings of its many diverse parts; a football team could not succeed without the masterful interplay between players at different positions with different skills and objectives.  In many cases, diversity is the key ingredient to give you any hope for success.

Which is why I’d like you to spend a lot of time thinking about farming.  See, farmers plant one type of crop on a given patch, but they can only do that for so long because that giant monocrop will eventually suck all the life out of the earth.  Then, at the end of the year, they harvest everything, and you’re left with a giant pile of dead stalks and leaves, a wasteland of emptiness where nothing will grow again for several months.

In a word – awesome.

So there you go, folks.  Strive to make everyone in your business operate identically to everyone else, and soon you too can stand proudly at your office window and gaze out upon the brown, barren, lifeless vista you’ve helped create.   Have them do the same thing over and over and over again until you suck the life out of them the way that monoculture sucks the life out of the ground.  You can do it.  I know you can.

(I grew up around a lot of corn.  In case you’re wondering.)

Hello, and Happy New Year!  By now you should have already seen my super awesome New Year’s video (if not, click http://www.jeffhavens.com/?p=464), and so you should already have a few good ideas about how to gear up for the year to make 2012 one of your most successful ever.

However, you should also be aware of the fact that the Mayan calendar has predicted that the apocalypse is set to arrive sometime around December of this year.  I’m pretty sure they knew what they were talking about, because John Cusack was in a movie about it.  So I don’t see a whole lot of reason for you to plan anything long-term.

Fortunately for you, I have a few ideas that should help you cope with the impending end of the world.

Don’t follow up! – If somebody doesn’t return your phone call right away, it’s probably because they don’t like you.  And why should you bother pestering them?  The world is going to end soon; the last thing you should be doing is trying to close a difficult sale.

Tell Everyone What You Really Think of Them! – I’m not exactly sure why this implies that you’ve secreted disliked the people around you forever and are only now giving yourself permission to say so, but that’s apparently what this phrase means.  So get to work.  They’ve been a thorn in your side for long enough.

Wake Up Late! – In a world full of impending doom, there is absolutely no cause to be setting an alarm clock.

Make Risky Investments! – Ideal options here include wagering all of your assets on double-zero at the roulette wheel, or betting everything you own that Donald Trump will never again pretend to run for president.

These are just the ideas that came to me; I’m sure if I spent some more time thinking about it that I could come up with things more immediately relevant to your business.  But why should I bother?  The world is about to end, and I’ve got better things to do than think.  I’ve got panic room rations to start collecting.

Happy New Year!